Bear Raleigh – mild, gentle giant, works in accounting

Bernie Soloman – PR representative, loves Jennifer Lopez movies, takes forever to get dressed

Bobby McIlroy – graphic designer, her real name is Roberta, goth

Chris Keats – music producer, incredibly apathetic, very fond of tacos

Richard “Dick” Radford – video editor, gruff, bizarrely good at party games

Nick “Finch” – surly and scary, likes to bake, works in a record store

Frank Rossi – radio show producer, used to be nocturnal, hangs out with his grandfather

Gord Kinney – musician, mustache, tried to steal Jacklyn’s cat

Helen Vanderleuwen – lives with her grandfather, unemployed, amazingly didn’t hate living in Winnipeg

Iggy Brooker – barista, human disaster, once got thrown up on at a bar

Jacklyn Young – copy editor, very well put-together, frequently righteously angry

Jemima Cohen – copy editor, well-known for her Mennonite skirt, doesn’t enjoy meditation

Joey Succi – professional sketchball, constantly has a black eye, loves Brittney Spears

Miles Rattray – juice salesman, looks like a young Scott Baio, once went to a rave on a Wednesday

Oscar Zahradnik – juice salesman, bitter, hates fruit flies

Priscilla Cherry – communications representative, name of a drag queen

Ramsay Khan – juice salesman, unfriendly, hairy

Robin Rooney – record store clerk, lazy, rearranges Fleetwood Mac records on a daily basis

Rosalyn McQueen – used to live in Kelowna, works at an outdoor sporting goods store, knows nothing about kayaks

Suze Lin – radio DJ, used to live in Vancouver, slightly obsessed with Naked and Afraid

Sybil Fox – music producer, sarcastic, hates being serenaded

Sylvie Dobbins – looks like Scandinavian Barbie, is so nice

Tallulah Cherry – record store clerk, sarcastic and grim

Ye Zhang – unemployed, a minimalist, very impatient

Yusuf Nazari – radio DJ, has an on air alias named Bill, accidentally forms a really popular band