36: “Boys are stupid”

Bobby’s ex-boyfriend and potential future boyfriend Will had gotten a job tending bar at a gross club all the students went to. He was only working there to fill some of his time. He’d gotten a pension from the navy, but he wasn’t one to sit around and do nothing. As such, he had begun volunteering at the animal shelter and he had gotten this bartending job to bridge the gap before he got a different job. He’d been a bartender before, albeit at a much nice establishment, so his co-workers liked him. They didn’t have to teach him how to make porn star shots and he took the initiative to stop serving people before they vomited on top of the bar, which happened roughly once a night.

One of Will’s new co-workers invited him to a party at his apartment three weeks into Will’s new job. Will was delighted to be making friends. He immediately agreed to go and asked if he could bring a couple friends. And then he immediately invited Bobby and Mo.

“Do I want to go to your random co-worker’s party?” Bobby repeated, pretending to think it over. “Hmmm…no. No I do not.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Will returned.

“You have literally no way of knowing that,” Bobby pointed out. They were lounging in her living room with her cats, Madge and Louis, though Louis was hissing at them from on top of the bookshelf by the window for unclear reasons. He had anger issues. Madge, meanwhile, was sitting in Will’s lap, leaving white fur everywhere and purring like she’d never been happier in the entire thirteen years she’d been on the planet. She probably hadn’t been. Madge adored Will. Bobby used to find it precious, but now she was confused about whether or not she liked Will and it annoyed her more than anything else. It didn’t help that Louis was being an asshole and so Bobby was currently going without cat affection.

“Mo, you want to come right?” Will asked, calling over the back of the couch into the kitchen.

“Yup!” Mo replied, popping her head out of the kitchen to flash him a smile.

“Moba Fett, you don’t even know what he invited you to!” Bobby interjected in exasperation. Mo just shrugged.

“I don’t really care,” she said. “I like hanging out with Will.”

Will flashed her a winning smile and Bobby glowered at both of them.

On the night in question, they arrived at Will’s co-worker’s party an hour after it had begun to seem cool and avoid the potential awkwardness of being the firsts to arrive. Bobby had demanded at least that. If she was being forced to attend this stranger’s party, she was going to do it as non-awkwardly as possible, though she suspected it would eventually become uncomfortable. She hadn’t expected it quite as early on, though. And yet, the moment the door was opened, it was awkward.

“Oh,” Gord said, looking startled. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” Bobby asked, primarily because she couldn’t think of anything else to say. Will’s smile was beginning to falter, though he had made a truly valiant effort. He looked back and forth between Bobby and Gord, obviously confused. Mo, meanwhile, was as oblivious as ever, too busy trying to look past Gord at the party beyond to notice the abrupt change in atmosphere.

“Well I live here,” Gord answered. “What are you doing here?”

“There’s a party,” Bobby told him, as if he was somehow unaware that there was a party occurring inside his own apartment.

“Yeah, I know there’s a party,” he said, looking at her like she was crazy. “It’s my party.”

“You didn’t invite me to your party?” Bobby returned. Somewhere deep down, she knew that wasn’t really the issue at hand and yet she couldn’t seem to think of anything else. She was a little miffed about it, to be honest. They were friends after all. Will had been invited by someone, presumably Gord’s roommate, after only three weeks of working together.

“Well, you’ve made it anyway,” Gord pointed out.

“Uh…,” Will cut in, still looking back and forth between Bobby and Gord.

“Oh, uh, this is my roommate Mo,” Bobby said, clearing her throat and pointing to Mo. “And this is…Will.”

She didn’t know how to introduce him to regular people, let alone Gord.

“Right. Will,” Gord said darkly, nodding once in Will’s direction.

“Uh, hey,” Will replied. “I work with Gavin?”

He sounded very confused. Bobby didn’t even want to begin trying to explain it to him and she definitely didn’t want to explain it to him in front of Gord, who was clearly taking the news of Will’s return quite hard. Otherwise, she figured he would’ve invited her to his party.

“Oh,” Gord said flatly. “He’s inside.”

Gord stepped aside to let the three of them in. Mo immediately disappeared into the crowd, very good at making friends very quickly. She would have joined a book club and become someone’s spin buddy by the end of the night. Will seemed less certain of whether or not he should leave Bobby. He was clearly going through some sort of moral dilemma. On the one hand, he wanted to see his friend and likely stop seeing Gord forever. While he would never normally abandon Bobby at a party full of strangers, she clearly knew Gord. That having been said, their conversation had been awkward and strained and Will clearly couldn’t decide if he should wait with her and Gord or bring her with him to find Gavin.

And then, while the three of them were standing in the middle of Gord’s living room in awkward limbo, all trying to sort out what to do with the others, a pretty woman with blonde hair bounced over to them in a floral top and a denim skirt. She wrapped her arms around Gord’s waist from behind and kissed him on the cheek. Gord immediately flushed, Bobby scowled, and Will looked immensely relieved.

“Hi!” The woman said brightly, turning her attention to Bobby and Will. “I’m Myrtle.”

“I beg your pardon?” Bobby returned instantly and skeptically.

“Hi, I’m Will,” Will responded appropriately, holding out his hand to shake Myrtle’s. Gord refused to make eye contact with Bobby, who kind of wanted to punch him in the face. But then she thought about why she wanted to punch him in the face and all the reasons she couldn’t actually punch him in the face, starting with Will, moving on to the fact that she and Gord had never actually been together as well as how she had been the one to turn him down, and ending with how much she thought it would hurt her own fist. At the very least, it explained why he hadn’t invited her to his party.

Bobby had a terrible time that night. Gord also didn’t appear to be enjoying himself very much, no matter how much Myrtle giggled and called him handsome. It was sickening, in Bobby’s opinion, but she managed to keep it to herself. She kept it to herself until the moment that she and Mo were back in their own apartment. Even then, she couldn’t tell Mo because she was drunk and singing the Harry Potter theme song to herself. So Bobby was forced to take solace in a one-sided conversation with Madge. Bobby grabbed either side of Madge’s face and brought her own close so that they were nose to nose.

“Boys are stupid,” she whispered to Madge, who didn’t do anything in response. It was not as such comforting.

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